Friday, September 23, 2011

I stood there and tears streaming down my cheeks.

I had cried for this .. although im not the protagonist
i think i could feel what she had felt



I had always thought of myself as a strong person.I always thought I knew what true strength was.however,I had never experienced a trying situation.I did not realize the capabilities of will power.Until one day at dawn,I had never known or understood what it was like to feel real unrelenting pain.

Life is such a precious entity.Here one moment,we never know if we will live to see the sunrise of tomorrow yet too many take life for granted.I only know one woman who truly lived her life to her every desire.She lived her life by her heart.She was my GREAT- GRANDMOTHER.I had never known the experiences or the true luxuries of having a great grandmother.I had secretly wished I had one now.

My grandfather would tell me stories about my great grandmother.She was born in China in the year 1921.She came to Malaysia all the way by boat.It took about three months to reach Malaysia.On her journey,some of her friends were thrown into the sea due to their sickness.During the second world war,my great grandmother used to hide in a tunnel together with a girl.Unfortunately,the girl was then caught by the army.Sadly,she was raped.My great grandmother was sad and she had to stay strong.

She was so giving.She would give the shirt off her back for people in need.She had no money to give,yet every year,she would give me a red packet for my birthday.When a neighbour or friend asked for money,she was more than willing to give it.Money did not mean anything to her.She lived with her heart and had no worries about day to day.

One early morning,I heard my parents having a conversation in the living room.I felt so scared as it had never happened before.I was very sure that something bad had happened.With all the strength I had,I walked towards them and I saw my mum crying.Without saying anything,I burst into tears.This woman,I had never really had a chance to say goodbye,had died.The woman who was my only biological great grandmother had died.I would never be able to speak to her again.

A moment later,I had a chat with my cousins from oversea and I told them that our great grandmother had passed away.I put on a fake smile to show show that I was not weak.My chest ached,my stomach hurt and my heart burnt.I took a few deep breaths and wiped away a few drops tears.I never liked crying in front of other people. All of a sudden,there was a butterfly crossing my path.I knew it was her way of saying goodbye because I could not be there to say goodbye myself.More hot tears streamed down my face,unable to control the waterworks so I let them flow.I wiped them away once again,this time they were not as easy to be wiped away and I let myself take some more deep breaths.

In the evening,my family and I were back in hometown to attend my great grandmother's funeral.It was the first time for me to attend a funeral.I was so sad.The one whom I loved so much had passed away.I went near to her casket to pay my last respect to her.I whispered goodbye.Without thinking anything,I stood there and tears streaming down my cheeks.



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